1. i always had thought it was she who must brew often.
I have been married for 19 years, brewing for 18. She doesn’t drink beer, but we have an arangement.
I have not exercised the full extent of this arangement, however. As I can use this for conical fermenters someday…but it has worked on:
brewers gloves
march pump
outdoor burners,
large Hot Liquor Tank
tools to cut open kegs
hoses, tri clamp and myriad of other valves and fittings (little stretch here)
Examples: Kegs, keggerator, and associated equipment. Grain Mill (less time at homebrew store).
Anything that “saves money” needs a little more explanation. Grain Mill and buying 50lb bags of grains, gallon sizes of Star San, and someday yeast lab…
Anything that removes impacts to rest of house: Fermentation cabinet, separate beer fridge, cabinet and storage to put all of this crap into and get it out of places she frequents in our small house.
The goal is convincing her that there are positive outcomes to all of this. I have used the argument that I am home in the basement rather than out pursuing other hobbies or sitting my butt on the couch watching TV. I often do the laundry while working on such projects (which also helps).
Lastly, she gets bragging rights on the block. My neighbor is a Senior VP of some national company (very successful)…but he is always traveling on business, can’t make beer, and doesn’t know how to tear apart a fridge and rebuild into a keggerator…skills and knowledge which I apply to other appliances and the home electrical and plumbing systems…nor does he have an awesome set of tools.
Really, my wife isn’t dumb, she allows all of this because she loves me, and I am fooling no one.
I told my wife I started this thread with that letter. She just laughed! ;D
It’s a good letter, but what is with the “helping me lose weight” part?
Wait, if your not busy making beer, you’d be sitting around eating cookies, right?
Exactly! 
My wife rarely even asks about new “toys” in the brewery anymore. I’m one who looks at the accounts and asks thinks like “Honey, do you have any idea ~$1500 may have gone that I can’t account for in the chcking account?”. So she knows I won’t blow the budget on brewing stuff.
That question was one I actually asked once. It was before Christmas one year and she had over $1500 in scrip (gift card and such bought through our kids school because they get a cut) to use for Christmas shopping. The funniest part was that she didn’t realize how much she was really carrying around.
Paul
By all means, get that ring. Gotta keep-em happy. I’ve learned that in my 27+ years of marriage. Of course those are not all with the same person, I was a slow learner.
I tend to agree, but I took to heart something Penn said on his short lived radio program . . . he consulted a lawyer who basically said “there is no contract I could draw up that would give you as many rights in your children’s lives as simply being married to their mother.” But if you have no kids (and don’t intend to) no big deal, do what you like.
10 year anniversary is 4/20 
congrats on the anniversary! My wife and I are coming up on 5 ourselves. Another good reason to get married, if you have decided that you are going to stay together anyway is all the free stuff! what other opportunity can you think of to throw a huge party for all your friends and family at which they are expected to buy you everything you ever wanted for your house? Plus it’s a really meaningful way to say how you feel about your other half.
[quote]I tend to agree, but I took to heart something Penn said on his short lived radio program . . . he consulted a lawyer who basically said “there is no contract I could draw up that would give you as many rights in your children’s lives as simply being married to their mother.” But if you have no kids (and don’t intend to) no big deal, do what you like.
[/quote]
We don’t, so it works good for us. Congrats on the anniversary.
Just ordered the ring! She told me if I ordered it I should pay using Bill Me Later. So, when I placed the order she got the email, since our Bill Me Later account is in her name. 
what he said!
Thanks!
I really hate that acronym, I just do. So I usually have to say something whenever someone uses it.
But on the topic of people living in adversarial marriages. It seems too many guys I hear on these forums talk about how they hate taking up the kitchen for so long, their wives hate when they brew, hate the smell, blah blah blah. Wow, sucks to have a wife that is so conditional. Makes me sad. And taking up the kitchen for 4-5 hours? Can these people’s wives stand to be out of the kitchen for that long? I don’t get it…
It’s like when I hear guys say when they try to change their facial hair that their wives HATE it and make them shave it off. Makes me sad. Just imagine if you told your wife you hated her new haircut, how would she feel? Not good right? These wives just don’t seem to think that through, it’s a 2 way street. Makes me think these guys married the wrong women.
Who brews in the kitchen? That’s like taking target practice in the hallway, or playing football in the livingroom.
Happy Anniversary Tom!
Just for you beersk: SWMBO
I brew in the kitchen and do full boils over two burners. I love it. There is an awesome venthood and immediate access to some very hot water. Furthermore, there is air-conditioning which is my primary reason for brewing in the kitchen.
If anyone is going to throw someone out of the kitchen it will be me. SWMBO will have learned early on that I rule there… Now if she is an awesome cook then we can compromise.
Since brewing is inherently messy, I can see why the brewer gets ejected from the kitchen and relegated to the garage or outside. One nasty boil-over not cleaned up immediately (I’ll actually stop the process to do this) is probably the source for 99% of the banishments from the kitchen and house.
Says the idealistic single guy. ;D
You’ll learn real fast to say, "Get out of my kitchen, please darlin. "
I brew outside because SWMBO didn’t like the smell and our vent took forever to clear the air. I agreed but its SWMBO’s fault.
I don’t have a beard because SWMBO doesn’t like it when I do. Neither do I but its still SWMBO’s fault.
SWMBO threatens to buy a chipper shredder when she’s “upset” with me. The kids offer to help SWMBO pick one out. Its SWMBO’s fault (even though I started the joke).
I’m trying to think of more ways I can use SWMBO in this post. ;D
Most guys who layoff not doing something because SWMBO said so are usually saying “I agreed with her but can’t admit that in front of my friends and I got something better out of it anyway, so there”. Its a joke! Political correctness is killing this country by making people too worried about offending others to try new things. I for one would gladly welcome our new “boorish, creative overlords” if got us moving forward again.
Sorry for the rant. SWMBO just told me to go sit in the corner. 8)
Paul
I would be nervous if she buys that chipper in the winter. ;D