"Just because it’s infected, does not make it Belgian!
Written by Ray Spangler (Homebrewer of the Year, in 1987, I think).
Fortunately it was not on one of my scoresheets ;D
I was reminded of this by a beer I judged Saturday. I was sorely tempted to use it, but plagiarizing the founder of the Bloatarian Brewing League was too sacrilegious. Anyone else remember any good comments?
I’ll offer something that just made me laugh and prove how subjective beer sensory perception is. Two comments, from two different judges, from the same competition, judging the same beer: (1) Good, long lasting head retention, perfect for style, good carbonation; (2) Head quickly receded, exhibits very low carbonation for the style.
I submitted only two bottles, one of which had to be for the BOS round. Being that this beer didn’t make the BOS round they clearly were pouring from the same bottle.
Most of the ones that stick out in my mind are from times a judge made assumptions about process. “Excessive residual sweetness - use only light extract next time” on an AG barleywine is a favorite.
I also have half a dozen where you can read through the eraser marks that the original difference in scores was 10+ points.
Two comments, sources to remain anonymous:
Great, now I’m going to get diarrhea. Thanks.
This beer reminds me of my parent’s divorce. I was ten.
“Damn you, I wanted to have children someday”.
Actually, that comment wasn’t actually written…a friend told me that’s what he would have liked to have written!
I had a score sheet come back where the two judges were very much at odds. One ranked it quite high & the other quite low. One of the judges documented the ensuing conversation up the side of the score sheet and then on to the back side. It was quite a read. One judge was a novice & the other a national. Interestingly the novice stood up for what he felt was right for the style. They eventually compromised, but closer to the novice’s original score. I of course agreed with the novice… ;D
My first Imperial IPA, before it was a real style. 2 national ranked BJCP judges. One “Too Hoppy!”, the other “Too malty!”. Sounds about right to me.
My favorite so far was “tastes like vienna sausages”. I give him points for not just saying “meaty”, he actually picked the type of meat. If I got a comment like some of the above comments, I would report it to the BJCP. On their website, they make a big deal about respecting brewers, I don’t think they’d like the “divorce” comment.
I don’t enter that many competitions, but I like to judge, especially the weird beer categories (shocker!) . I think one of the best one’s I gave was for a “Viking Yule Ale as translated from Rune such and such of the such and such laws”.
It was an interesting beer, but wasn’t balanced right for my taste, so being in mid morning smart ass mode I wrote something along the lines of “This tastes to me like you mistranslated one part of the law.” And then proceed to give real feedback. So to the brewer who entered that beer, I’m sorry, there are just times I can’t resist the call of the smartass.
I entered a blond ale in the NHC and got two opposing comments from two different judges. One was “too hoppy” and the other was not enough hops. I asssme it was balance they were talking about, since the style is not inherently hoppy. It did pretty well, but shows that results can be confusing to the brewer.
I penned just such a sheet (up the side, probably on the back noting we could not agree), but don’t remember compromising my score at all. We stayed at odds…
A Pliny the Elder clone brewed about 5 years ago was judged “Too hoppy for style” in the DIPA category.
For a Belgian Wit Entry “Nice Dark Pee Color”
Pours a magnificent greyish-green with a cotton candy head. Heavy lacing. Amazing floral aroma, with bubblegum and grapefruit. Nightmarish lemony palate, punctuated with tarragon and molasses. Tightly carbonated mouthfeel and very light finish. 
I don’t enter comps, but if I gave up good beer and money to do so, I’d expect constructive criticism, rather than sharp wit.
In a perfect world you could get both.
Judging an IPA in a competition recently, I was tempted to write ’ try using hops instead of cabbage next time’. I didn’t, because this wasn’t a constructive way to put accross the vegetal characteristics the beer displayed and how the brewer might deal with them. I suspected that the hops were less than fresh, but making suppositions isn’t supposed to be the name of the game.
Now I remember why I don’t enter comps.
[quote]Now I remember why I don’t enter comps.
[/quote]
+1000
My favorite ones are always “too fruity for style” regarding a fruit beer with no sub-style declaration. Those kind of asinine comments always make me laugh. 