So I’m siting here on a cold winters night. my German mustard has arrived and by the way, its perhaps one of my greatest pleasures in life. anyway, I’ve got a keg that I’m drawing off, and i lift it feeling the weight to determine how much is left…for the record I’ve done this a few times over the last week. so tonight I pour a pint, and lift and am certain I’m at my last pint. yet, something magical and mystical happens…its not the last pint; Au Contraire, somehow the beer fairy has shown up and keeps the beer flowing. not one pint, not two, but three and still not a sound of gasping C02. Not sure if its just me, but this is one of life’s simple pleasures. :
Oh no, it’s not just you. My kegs fall into one of three categories :
1/ I swear only 2.5 gallons out of 5 should be gone and the damn thing’s sucking air already. It’s magic, but dark magic.
2/ It’s a beer I think is ‘pretty good’, but not what I’d hoped for. Of course my friends love it , but I drink from the other taps mostly. Keg takes FOREVER to kick, in an annoying way.
3/ The magical keg that manages to store 7 gallons (5 gallon capacity). I’ve had it happen several times. Like last New Year’s Eve when the beer kicked as expected but my keg of cider seemed to last forever. My wife and I and several of our friends drank out of that keg for what seemed like forever, well past the point it should’ve been empty - just a 5% cider. It was like the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer and the car salesman drove the car way past the point the needle was on ‘E’ and kept going. Harry Potter would’ve been proud of that keg.
I spent a night force kicking a keg once as I needed to package something the next day for a party. I thought it was only a couple of pints, but 6 fills later I was more than dazed and confused.
Isn’t there some sort of religious holiday connected to a similar miracle of a critical item lasting longer than it should? Beer? Oil? Something like that…
I’ve had IPA kegs that kick in 2 weeks and i nearly cry when they are gone, and then I have kegs of good but not great beer that take FOREVER to kick - such as the vienna i’ve had on tap since July - I have 2 kegs of awesome robust porter behind it and I keep trying to get to it, yet there are 2 other great beers on tap next to it…
For me, it’s always when I have another beer to keg in the morning. I’ll think, “there can’t possibly be more than two or three pints left…” Famous last words.
THIS! Need a keg, swear there is 1-2 pints left, wife comes down a few hours later and asks why I’m drinking so much. She doesn’t believe the magical keg story for some reason… ???