I concur with what Mike said, and also his assessment of your score sheet.
Here’s how I tend to think about how to help structure the aroma and flavor sections. I like to use “ingredient coverage” as a framework for how to break down the aroma and flavor sections. Each beer is created from malt, hops, yeast, and water (and sometimes additional ingredients for the fruit and specialty type categories), and therefore, each of these ingredient categories contributes something to the aroma/flavor of the beer. I treat it as my job is to capture those contributions on the score sheet.
Each of the descriptors should express a descriptive vividness consisting of 3 parts: intensity of perception, a “million dollar adjective” which vividly describes the characteristic, and of course the characteristic itself. For example, “intense resiny pine and tangerine hop aroma” gives much more vivid feedback than “lots of hops”.
(aroma)
What do I get from the Hops?
What do I get from the Malt?
What do I get from the Yeast (e.g., esters, phenolics, alcohol, etc)?
What do I get from water or special ingredients (if there’s anything noteworthy)?
What do I get from other factors (this is where I tend to look for packaging issues, off flavors, etc).
I also note any aromas that may be permissible but often fleeting, like sulphur or DMS in lagers or diacetyl in some ale styles, then go back later (usually after flavor has been fully commented) to revisit them and comment on whether they diminished, intensified, or stayed the same as the beer sat and warmed.
For appearance, I use the touch points in italics below the appearance header, looking for comments about the color, clarity, head color, head texture, head retention, etc.
Then I repeat the “ingredient coverage” for flavor-
What do I get from the Hops (both bitterness and flavor)?
What do I get from the Malt?
What do I get from the Yeast (e.g., esters, phenolics, alcohol, etc)?
What do I get from water or special ingredients (if there’s anything noteworthy)?
What do I get from other factors (this is where I tend to look for packaging issues, off flavors, etc).
Mouthfeel visits all of the touch points of body, carbonation, creaminess, etc.
Then, sum it up in the overall impression, as Mike says, offering suggestions on how to improve the beer.
Like Mike said, avoid phrases which may be construed as derogatory or inflammatory.
Another thing that is a pet peeve for a lot of us graders is don’t use ranges for aspects that can’t vary over time. What exactly does “medium to high bitterness” mean? If you mean its between medium and high, then just say medium-high.
Other things to keep in mind-
Think of the “signature elements” of each style that are particular to that style. Look for them and comment about them. For example, alcohol in IIPA, BarleyWine, Imperial Stout, and Strong Belgians. Sulphur and/or DMS in some lagers, diacetyl in some styles like Milds and Bitters, malt derived fruit flavors in the Bock family, etc. Each of the styles have these signature aspects that should be there, and the very best score sheets seek those out and comment when they are there and just as importantly, when they are missing.
HTH-
Steve