Stay off my f'ing driveway!

Guess I’m getting old. 8)

I’ve been living in this house for four years. I have witnessed many thousands of drivers use my poor driveway as a turn-around for any variety of vehicles frequently including some heavy trucks. My neighbors I can tolerate but the 10-15 vehicles day and night that whip into my driveway, back out and drive off the way they were going has me at the end of my wits.

The drive way is ruined and I can’t afford to replace it right now. And if I did it would be reduced in short order by the constant traffic. >:(

For the first six months I stacked a couple rock cairns about 2’ high blocking access with just enough room for my VW to squeeze by. I’d come home to rocks knocked off the tops daily but got little satisfaction from imagining their scratched bumpers. Then I decided this made me look like I was a crazy person so got rid of the rocks. I also tried positioning the flood lights right into the windshields so the glare would be a deterrent. This has been unsuccessful.

Short of a gate- which would look odd as I have no fence what can be done to stop this constant traffic? I know you are a clever enterprising bunch. Any thoughts and suggestions that would help my situation?

pit trap. Definitely pit trap.

About 7 or 8 feet deep, cover it with a garage door reinforced to be strong enough for you car. when you need to use the drive way close it and drive over, the rest of the time keep it open and if anyone tries to use your drive way they will just fall in. Then work out a kick back deal with the local tow guys and you might even make a few bucks!  ;D

seriously though, have you tried a sign? Maybe a couple posts with a chain across?

Retractable spike strip?  ::slight_smile:

Are you at the end of a dead end street Euge?

Why does everyone use your driveway?

I know, get one of those sprinklers that are activated by an optic sensor and hope you catch a convertable AND you could “treat” your water in various ways to make it less benign.

Damn I love plotting spiteful retribution of inconsideration.  ;D

How about a sign?

How about some orange traffic cones?

Hahaha!

I am the third house on the left. The street is not a dead end. For some reason it is inviting for divers to pull into.

The chain is a decent idea. Two 4x4 posts st in the ground with a chain stretched across? Man I’d love it when they drove into that at night! ;D

I was considering a sign in the vein of a political campaign… I want a definite no if’s and’s or but’s deterrent!

I think if you did the chain, which is not a bad idea, it would be wise to put reflectors on it and perhaps a sign that says “private property.”

Sink a couple of 6" metal fence posts in concrete and stretch a heavy chain across the driveway.  Be sure that the chain is highly visibilty.

I know from experience that truck drivers do not care what they drive over and destroy.  They will only avoid driving over something if it will damage their truck.

One water system I operate has valves in a valve vault in the ground on a street corner where dump trucks drive a lot.  The dump trucks were constantly driving over the vault and smashing it.  I installed 5 concrete filled steel bollards on the corner.  The bollards are immoveable.  Several truck drivers have damaged their trucks trying to run over the bollards.    The truck drivers do not cut the corner anymore.

How about a toll booth? Sounds like, what with thousands of drivers turning around, you could pay for a new driveway in no time. 8)

You mean like this!?

VESTIL Steel Bollards - Pour in Place Model - Yellow

21NMv5oaPVL.SL500_AA300.jpg

or maybe this?
Safety Steel Bollard With Chain Slots 48" x 4.5" Yellow

21Rp7EbQLaL.SL500_AA300.jpg

That’s giving me some ideas. I could even put some solar lights on top of each post!

Then I could sit back, drink beer and not have to work! ;D

Get some of them big steel poles that retract in the ground, like they have to rout traffic in the UK. Someone unwanted drives in, poles shoot up, and their car teeters there. Expensive as crap? Yes. Hilarious? YES!!!

Steel posts with “Police - Crime Scene - Do not cross” tape stretched across the drive.  Make sure to paint body outlines on the drive near the street and scatter some pieces of red and yellow plastic around.

It might them wonder if it was their car?  :slight_smile:

Paul

how about parking your car at the farthest part of the driveway, where your back bumper would be even with the street.  Seems that would be an effective deterrent.

Believe me I’ve considered this^^^! However the reason I bought a house with a garage is so that I could park my cars in there. No break-ins. No sun damage. :wink:

Another idea is to install a gate.  A large chain would be cheaper and serve the purpose as well.  A sign is the cheapest and easiest but wouldn’t be nearly as effective.  I was going to suggest a spiked strip but then you’ll have even more problems.  ;D

Maybe you could commission some 3D art for your driveway:

pavement-art-02.jpg

Maybe a sign that sign that says “Watch for broken Glass and nails on right” (or left) or " SORRY Not Responsible for Flat Tires" next to your driveway… Or “U-Turn Next Right”…

Rig some hidden loudspeakers to blast the sound of a few AK-47’s. Much cheaper than my last idea, and just as hilarious.

Or, how bout a sign that reads exactly the same as the title of your post?  ;D

oooh. That is a good one!

I was thinking about scattering some caltrops… :wink:

Dude i got vertigo looking at that! +!