I’m poor. I mean really poor. I’m so poor the other day I was kickin’ a can down the road and someone asked me what I was doing and I said "movin’.
I’m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
Rectum? Damn near killed him!
so far we have 3 pathetic jokes. Hope some jokester comes along soon. 
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
Make it four bad jokes and dammit, you started this thread!
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: Why?
Q: So they can hide in cherry trees
A: I’ve never seen an elephant in a cherry tree
Q: see! it works!
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: With a green elephant gun of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: You hold it’s trunk shut until it turns blue and use a blue elephant gun.
---- And you all thought your jokes were bad ----
Paul
Q: why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them too! :o
This is from Punatic’s entry in the Meaningless Thread-Thread
I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 6-year-old granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?”
She said “It’s President’s Day!”
She is a smart kid. So, I asked “What does President’s Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln etc.
She replied, “President’s Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment.”
ROFL
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’'s a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!”
“It’s not just one car,” said Herman, “It’s hundreds of them!”
i have always liked having a wife around. just uncomfortable when her husband finds out
So, a horse walks into the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender looks at the horse and asks, “Hey buddy, why the long face?”
What’s the definition of a surprise?
A fart with a lump in it.
"This is from Punatic’s entry in the Meaningless Thread-Thread
I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 6-year-old granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?”
She said “It’s President’s Day!”
She is a smart kid. So, I asked “What does President’s Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln etc.
She replied, “President’s Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment.”
ROFL"
My Obama joke was removed. Oh well, some can, some can’t.
I didn’t remove it, but OTOH I can understand why it was removed. I don’t think it would be a good idea to turn the “joke thread” into an Obama bashing thread. If it makes you feel better I’ll remove the other one.
Please don’t remove it because of me.
So, sorry folks but please no more political jokes. Many could easily be made about both sides of the isle and I would love to read every one but it’s probably not a good place to air political affiliation or opinions. Sorry for the bummer.
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge say’s “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started.”
Sven and Ole lived in Southern Minnesota and one day the states decided to move the border of Iowa 2 miles north. Sven looked at Ole and said “Thank God we won’t have to live through anymore hard Minnesota winters”.
*** Edited to fix my pour engrish ***