A friend of mine has a thread on FB like this, but it’s not as much fun without quoting. Here’s the game: I post an archaic version of a song’s lyrics. If you recognize it, quote it and name the song. Then write your own archaic version of any other song lyrics. Lather, rinse, repeat.
It’s better if you come up with your own, but if you have to find some on the interwebz I won’t think you less of a man. Well, maybe a little.
Ready? Begin!
“I have aquired four score and nineteen difficulties, but a wench cannot be counted amongst them.”
I find a window in the kitchen, and I let myself in
Rummage through the refrigerator, find myself a beer
I can’t believe I’m really here, and she’s lying in that bed
I can almost feel her touch, and her anxious breath!
“…Mm, she’s hot as a pepper but smooth as a Mexican brew.
So head for the border and put in an order or two.
The wings of the blackbird will spread like an eagle for you…”
“The group, for which I am acting as spokesman, hails predominantly from the arctic regions, a place subject to polar night and its inverse phenomenom, but happily is possessed of some pleasant tourist-friendly geothermal bodies of water. Our transport vessels are driven, they tell me, by something called “mjollnir”, and I gather the group is intent on waging some sort of combat of sorts with another large group of individuals, with a sort of musical number they like to do during battle about the afterlife or some such thing, according to their superstitions.”
“They doth observeth my locomotion, and expresseth their disgust, and formeth a party in search of me; Lo! They durst be fain to attempteth my capture for crimes of mounted huggermugger!”