fak i need sleep

aaghoua oceuh au AOUCH

augdh WAuor AW

uurk collapses

Air mattress got a hole.  I wake up like 6-8 times a night on a what’s the other word for f##ked up SNAFU inflatabed sitting my ass on the floor with my knees up in the air (this would be less bad if i was a chick)

so I deflated it sunday, finally.

sleeping on the floor sucks just as bad

I haven’t slept more than an hour or three a night in a week and a half jesus

and I bought a real bed

and a real bed doesn’t exist at a retail shop

and they’re shipping the bed

and it gets there thursday

so

I

can

sleep

in two more days

all of you can go to hell

jesus christ why can’t I get my thoughts in order, I don’t even remember how I got to work today

by the way speaking of jesus Twining’s Irish Breakfast Tea is made by God himself

It’s like somebody loaded SecurityTool in his brain.

Garlic makes my feet stink.

You bent my wookie!

My cats breath smells like cat food.

Mr. Simpson the tar fumes are making me dizzy!

“The man was sucking on the dogs ear!”
“Who was?”
“The man with the tutu!”
“The man was wearing a tutu?!?!”
“No the dog was.”

-this seemed perfect for this thread. I actually heard it at work today.- ???

I got a boil that looks like Elvis.

i am not not licking frogs
      homer j. simpson

Internet! Is that thing still around?

Ooohhhhh! They have the internet on computers now!

A few of my favorite ‘Ralph-isms’  (I pictured a 20-something Ralph Wiggum when reading BFI’s dis-jointed ramblings)

It tastes like burning!

Go banana!

Oh boy… Sleep!  Thats where I’m a Viking!

I’m Idaho.

You’ll put your eye out with that thing.

Ralph: “Um, Miss Hoover? There’s a dog in the vent.”
Miss Hoover: “Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?”
Ralph: “He was going to the bathroom.”

Does this look like a Q to you?

its like all of a sudden we all have a hollywood education.

Thanks for having me and Cheryl over for dinner last night. The stroganauf was excellent.

Sir, we didn’t have you for dinner last night.

Really? Well then, where was I? And who the hell is Cheryl?

There are some good arguments for vegetarianism. Not just health reasons but humane ones. Animals have personalities, even cows and especially pigs. When I was a kid I lived on a farm for a few years, it was a great contrast cause up until then I spent my whole life in the inner city.

Where I was living there was this cow. I would visit with it several times a day. I wasn’t the one who milked it regular but still I developed a bond with it. It would come running over when it saw me, and I know it would do that for almost no one else. We were buds.

Then a while back my brother in law talks me into buying a whole cow with him. He picked me up to go and get it. When we got to the farm the damn cow was still alive. It was still with the mother. My brother in law pulls out a 22 rifle and he and the farmer pull the cow into the barn. The mother cow knew exactly what was going on and its “moos” began to sound really scary, It was calling for the younger cow. After the pop there was some rustling and then there was another pop. He calls me into the barn and has me help hold the legs open as he gutted it. The innards spilled out onto the floor of the barn.The steam and smell of the inside of the cow hanged in the air. The mother cow outside no doubt smelled and knew what had happened, it began makeing crazy sounds that I never knew a cow could make. It was almost wining in sorrow.

I never really enjoyed that beef. Think I gave most of it away.

More recently I had a pet rooster named poppy cock. It knew what time I would come home from work and it would wait for me on the tree where I park. Sometimes it would jump into the cab of the truck to greet me before I had time to get out.

Indians, more specifically Hindus; dont eat meat. Because their belief is that killing of any kind is wrong.

Im not a vegetarian but sometime I wonder.

I’ve got nipples. Can you milk me?