Is it too late to drop out of the election? ;D
On that note… don’t forget to vote for your Governing Committee!
I can catch an unwrapped roll of quarters off of my elbow, like in that episode of Happy Days.
I can snort a string up my nose, and yak it out my mouth. I can also shoot Iced tear out of my left eye.
How do you ice your tears?
I can hold my breath for four minutes.
I’m also really fast at mental math, but somehow that never comes up at parties.
Ahh, the real trick is to snort it up one side of your nose and out the other!
You know that there is a Guiness Book World Record for the distance you can shoot milk out of your eye?
Maybe you could start the beer record!
Carbonated drink are WAY to painful!
But if you could snort out the other side of your nose and and tie it into a surgeons knot…only then would be impressed. ;D
:o
Why does this not surprise me?! 
For some reason, my wife and kids seem to find my mere existence entertaining. Either they’re too easily amused - or I’m a complete dork. Unfortunately, I think it’s probably the latter… :-[
I can open a beer bottle with a water bottle, a lighter, my wallet or a knife (gotta work on the paper trick). I can do a passable impression of Miss Piggy, Yoda, Jar-Jar Binks, and Chewbacca. I do Scottish, Jamaican and Australian Accents. I can also do the sounds of a cow elk call, a duck, a howler monkey and a poodle throwing up. For the finale, I can recite the Greek alphabet 3 times in under 13 seconds.
Lots of useless tricks that mostly just entertain family members and annoy my wonderful, patient wife.
Sou
Yes, but can you do a duck with a Jamaican accent?
And what kind of training program did you go through that gave you that skill? ;)
I’m 6’3" so I will refrain from letting you try that on me.
5’ 8" ? No wonder we never “see eye to eye”. ;)
LOL. Yeah, I’m not a very big guy. I’m also only 158 lbs. I work out with around 245 on bench though, if that counts for anything. ;D
I should add, that kicking trick, while amusing to me, is not a favorite of others. :-\
Sorry, I just couldn’t pass that up. No offense meant.
Cheers.
Absolutely none taken! In fact, I have had to put up with lots of short jokes all my like. For some reason most of my friends are 6 foot or taller. Come to think of it, I don’t think I have a close friend shorter than me. That’s weird. I never thought about that before until now.
These are only 6 gallon kettles. You can see how short I am. Look at those guns though. :P
ROFL
If those are 6 gallon kettles you need a job with Wonka
We have a real tiny Tim!