For all the bad jokes you can stand you should listen to the Prairie Home Companion Annual Joke Show (2011):
Paul
many thanks for the fantastic thread. thoroughly enjoyed the “But you can bet your ass it won’t be Cheerios!” along with the muffin joke…speaking of which
on your way to the bathroom, when you really have to go, you’re russian
She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
thought you might appreciate this (i’m a huge honeymooners fan)
He didn’t like her apartment so he knocker her flat
A father tucks his young son into bed, kisses him on the forehead, turns out the light and says goodnight.
Sitting watching a ballgame on TV in the living room the father hears from the bedroom, “Daddy can I have a glass of water?”
“No, if you drink water now you’ll wet the bed tonight. Go to sleep now son.”
A few minutes later, "Daddy, may I please have a glass of water?’
“No you may not, now go to sleep!”
A few minutes later, “Daddy may I pleeease have a glass of water?”
“No! And if I hear another word out of you tonight you’re gonna get a spanking!”
A few minutes later, “Daddy, when you come in here to give me a spanking would you bring me a glass of water?”
Ha! Awesome! That should’ve been the plot of Apollo 18 ;D
Two men walk into a bar; the third one ducked.
An old grizzled pirate walks into a bar. Sticking out of his pants is a pirate ship’s helm. The bartender says “Hey, you got a helm sticking out of your pants!” The pirate responds “Yarr, it’s driving me nuts.”
I always thought this one was funny. cheers, j