Too drunk....

The Pub
1

A Pennsylvania man attempted to resuscitate “a road-killed opossum,” state police say.

But this was one possum who wasn’t playing possum – the ugly creature remained dead.

Troopers responding to the scene in Oliver Township on Thursday determined that Donald J. Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, was drunk, according to the police report.

Several witnesses observed Wolfe’s failed resurrection of the flattened marsupial, police said. It was not immediately clear how he endeavored to restore the possum’s life.

The arresting officer in the incident was unavailable for comment Friday. Attempts to reach Wolfe were also unsuccessful.

Wolfe will be charged with one charge of public drunkenness, police said.

2

Only in PA.

You know what they say about PA, Philly on one side Pittsburgh on the other.everything in between is Alabama.

Usually they are trying to eat the road kill possum not resuscitate it.

3

What’s great about this is I’m from Central PA and I now live in Alabama.  ;D Capp - please tell me your from Jersey… PLEASE!!!  :stuck_out_tongue:

4

I am indeed from NJ.  Born and raised in beautiful, Historic Camden NJ.

Only made the long and arduous journey to Philadelphia about 22 years ago.

5

At least you went from the fire to the pan instead of ther other way.  At least you’re not from Chester. :o

6

ROFL  ;D

but not too far frome there.  :smiley:

7

I didn’t know you were a Pennsyltuckian… Whereabouts are you from?

8

I grew up in Shiremanstown, aka Camp Hill. Went to high school in Mechanicsburg. My first professional job was at the York Daily Record. Moved to Alabama in 93.

I have a lot of New Jersey jokes.  :smiley:

9

Go ahead, lets hear some, no offense will be taken here.

I grew up in Camden and my moms specialty dinner was Shake and Bake…but with no meat. Thats pretty funny right? Truth is so much more funny than fiction.

At least she wasnt using road kill though.

I tell ya the truth though, I love NJ. The beach is right there, Philly, NYC, pine barrens, mountains, waterfalls. Its the most densely populated state and one of the smallest yet it is all farms. It is an enigma.

10

My mom’s people are from New Enterprise/Saxton.

Everyone does.

11

What the difference between New Jersey Girls and trash?

Trash gets picked up.

12

pa da bing!

YOU MIGHT BE FROM JERSEY IF…

  • You don’t understand why there aren’t more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.

  • You know what a Wawa is, and know the location of at least 15 of them.

  • Even though there’s a new Wal-Mart in your town, you still go to the Englishtown Auction for cheap stuff.

  • You can name all the flavors of salt water taffy.

  • You buy Shop-Rite brand food at Shop-Rite.

  • You can smell and know when it’s low tide.

  • The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar.

  • There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freakin’ way… “yous gotta problem wit dat?”

  • You’ve had sex on the beach, and I’m not talking about the beverage.

13

Ha! I Love those human interest stories!  :smiley:

14

It’s a, um… interesting state.  ;D

15

Public drunkeness?  I thought someone had to be drunk and disorderly to be arrested?  Don’t step outside your home if you’ve been drinking now?  I know you can’t take a whiz outside on your own property anymore… if someone should happen to be standing in the right place with binoculars trained on you, you can be arrested for public indecensency(sp?) and you’ll have to register as a sex offender.  And no, I’m not kidding… thats the law here in Michigan.  ::slight_smile:

16

If you’ve been drinking and step outside and act like a normal person, fine.  Drinking and step outside and act like a jackass, or try to resuscitate a dead animal, probably grounds for getting a citation.

Why would you piss on your front lawn when the door to your house is probably 10 feet away?

17

Because the lawn is 0 feet away.

18

Good point.  I guess if you have neighbors glassing you with binoculars all day than there are have bigger issues to worry about.

19

Oh man, I love peeing on my lawn.

How else ya gonna mark your territory?

20

Pee around the hops. Might solve your critter issue.